Bring Tears to My Eyes
by Guardian Saturn
Summary: Set after "Ballad of Fallen Angels" , Spike thinks during his healing process


Bring Tears to My Eyes  
  
Pain. Extreme pain. My body throbbed beneath layers of bloodied bandages and I couldn't move. My will wasn't strong enough to bend my arms to relieve the twinge of soreness from lying in one place too long and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes from the white hot pain and frustration. I saw clear white when I closed my eyes, hell; I fell from a damned church window right? My shoulder burned and I strained to see if it was still bleeding under the gauze that wrapped me from head to toe.  
  
Soft words came through my muddled mind and made the connection with a song that I'd heard a long time ago. I struggled to open my eyes but couldn't even process the want to do so after the mere thought of having to actually watch movement. That much gave me a headache just thinking about it. I felt a hand on my forehead and the song became slightly louder, easing the jumble of incoherent thoughts in my head. A soft sigh halted the soft song and I finally opened my eyes.  
  
A pair of green eyes met mine, a pale face framing them and a concerned look inside. I fought to put those eyes to a name but couldn't seem to. The same hand pressed against my cheek and I closed my eyes again, reveling in the softness and warmth of it. Even through the hot throbbing of every bone in my body, that warmth seemed to be the most prevalent. I sighed deeply and felt the warmth slip from my cheek and move to clasp around my hand, the singing resuming.  
  
I focused my mind on the song, trying not to slip back into that deep sleep and miss it. I bit my lip and forced my eyes open, shifting them back and forth to find the source of the only thing that saved me from sinking back into the pit of pure, unquestionable pain.  
  
"Hey, Faye, how is he? The fever gone yet?" came a deeper voice and I caught the sight of Jet, leaning against the back of whatever I was laying on.  
  
A soft voice hushed him, and the warmth around my hand squeezed a little harder. I found it comforting actually, the feeling of someone close to me after nearly being killed by the one person who wanted me dead more than anything. I squeezed down on that warmth and tried to find Faye through the haze of my vision.  
  
"His fever's broken but he probably won't be fully awake for a while." A woman's voice answered.  
  
Violet hair came into view as I met those emerald eyes again. I searched that face and finally I made the connection. But why would she of all people stay at my side like this? She made it perfectly clear that she didn't like me, but now, now she's holding my hand and actually taking care of a lost soul like me? It just didn't make sense.  
  
The singing started again and I kept my eyes locked with hers. She smiled and leaned over me, her other hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes finally and felt water running down my cheeks, mingling with the feeling of her hand. I felt my chest heave from trying not to make my breath look irregular but failed miserably.  
  
"Please, don't stop that." I said, my voice raspy from not using it.  
  
I felt her hand move as she rested her head on whatever space there was beside me. I held her hand tight and stroked the long fingers with every passing wave of pain and nausea that came over me. She hummed now, low and somber but it was just audible enough for me to hear and the tears fell faster down my cheeks.  
  
The weight of her head lifted and I let go of everything, sinking down into the abyss that was my pain and self regret. I envisioned a woman. Standing beside me, her blonde hair framed a long face. The same song I heard reverberating in my mind she sang as well. I couldn't help it. It brought me to tears. Maybe this woman, Faye, was the person I'd been searching for and I didn't even know. No, it couldn't be, she couldn't be. I won't believe it.  
  
Damn my inability to muster up enough emotion to truly cry. Damn her, damn everyone on this ship and I damn myself to the hell I'm in. This dream that never ends has me caught in a bluff. And this is one I don't feel like calling right now.  
  
A new warmth pressed itself against my forehead, one more subtle. One more personal. A kiss. A soft kiss was pressed to my forehead.  
  
It brought tears to my eyes. 


End file.
